I got a puppy and decided I would dedicate my time to him instead of dating.
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There I was at a local reddit meet up when the new kid in town shows up. And now he lives with me.
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All that time and I met someone IRL. This is why I only use dating apps that are based on mutual matching.
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I think you should take a break from dating. Dating is supposed to be fun and exciting, at least some of the time. Go out and have fun or get fit. Wasting your time sending messages to non-mutual matches is a total waste of time for the vast majority of dudes. Only bitterness, anger, and loneliness await people who pour their time into this stuff; You just have to look at this sub. Yup I've been here before. What helped me though, was quitting all of my dating apps and learning how to talk to people in real life. As an LGBT person, I've had similar shitty luck with dating apps, but I've met the coolest people by talking to them in real life.
I'm a total introvert and shy as hell, but it's still possible to have a lot of success at this!
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Online dating is fun, but I also think that people can afford to be choosy and superficial on it so you usually don't get an accurate portrayal of how someone acts in real life. In real life, I've found that a lot more people are more receptive to talk because we can see things in a face-to-face talk that online convos don't have like body language, mutual respect, emotion, etc. Meeting people in person can make us nervous and anxious, but one thing I've kept in mind as I learn and improve, is that people generally want to impress you back as much as you want to impress them, so they are probably just as nervous as you are.
I don't really see that happen in online dating where people are always asking you to make them laugh, not be boring, be taller than them, etc, just having all kinds of demands and conditions.
I think it's more difficult for someone to get away with that in real life where the conversation is a lot more personal and informal. Good luck! I have no idea your place in the wonderfully awful world of LGBT dating.
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I just can't continue to have much of a connection unless I see their face and body language. Language is three parts, the words, paralinguistics tone, pitch, inflection, etc , and body language. Online you're missing two of the three parts of language.
That said! I still use online dating because the lesbian dating pool is really small anywhere, especially when you move to the Midwest because it's cheaper than SoCal. And, to the OP, I am guilty of ghosting. I'm sure plenty of people feel I've ghosted them, but if it feels like the conversation is just dragging on or I met someone amazing I'm neck deep in their vagina. I don't think "I better go back and message a dozen people I wasn't really serious with that I found someone"; I just get rid of my profile.
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And, when I see others do that, I don't take it personally, they found what they were looking for, I'm happy for em. So much this. When I get upset at internet people, I find that going outside and dealing with real life people reminds me that most folks are decent. Doesn't necessarily land dates, but does lots for your mental health. So when you say you went out and learned how to talk to people "in real life", where do you mean by "real life"? Online dating just amplifies people's inner tendencies That 5 year thing gotta hurt. Sorry to hear that. Seems you have it worse than me, maybe we should both take advice from the answers of this thread.
Sometimes people forget that there is an actual human being behind most profiles.
Making a profile: It's actually not a pain in the ass
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